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Aristotle on Friendship: Secrets to Lasting Bonds

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Ever wondered what makes some friendships last a lifetime? Aristotle did too, and his thoughts on the matter are as relevant today as they were in ancient Greece. Whether you’re scrolling through social media or catching up over coffee, understanding Aristotle on friendship could be the key to deeper connections. His take? At its core, it’s really about living with integrity, treating each other well, and embarking on a shared path of growing better together.

Table of Contents:

Understanding Aristotle’s View on Friendship: Aristotle on Friendship

Aristotle on Friendship

Aristotle’s writings on friendship still ring true today.

His insights shed light on our relationships, even though he lived over 2,000 years ago.

Aristotle is mostly known for his influence on science, politics and aesthetics; he is less well known for his writing on friendship.

I am a scholar of ancient Greek philosophy, and when I cover this material with my undergraduates, they are astonished that an ancient Greek thinker sheds so much light on their own relationships.

But maybe this should not be surprising: There have been human friendships as long as there have been human beings.

Defining Friendship According to Aristotle: Aristotle on Friendship

In his Nicomachean Ethics, Aristotle describes three types of friendship:

1. Friendships of utility, where both people derive some benefit from each other
2. Friendships of pleasure, where both people are drawn to the other’s wit, good looks, or other pleasant qualities
3. Friendships of the good, where both people admire the other’s goodness and help one another strive for goodness

The first two types are more accidental.

They rarely last long – only as long as the benefits or pleasures last.

Exploring the Nicomachean Ethics

In Book VIII of his Nicomachean Ethics, Aristotle describes three types of friendship.

The first is a relationship based on usefulness.

We are friends with someone else because that person can benefit us in some way, and for the “friendship” to work we also offer some benefit in return.

Society cannot really work without this sort of relationship, but it hardly qualifies as friendship.

No one would be delighted to hear from a friend that this was the foundation of the friendship.

Examining Aristotle’s Theory of Friendship

Aristotle argues that the highest form of friendship is a relationship based on goodness.

Here, friends love each other for their own sake, and they wish good things for each other.

This type of friendship, says Aristotle, is only possible between “good people alike in virtue.”

It is a rare thing.

This friendship takes time and trust to build.

The Three Types of Friendship in Aristotle’s Philosophy: Aristotle on Friendship

According to Aristotle, there are three types of friendship:

1. Friendships of utility
2. Friendships of pleasure
3. Friendships of virtue

Let’s explore each in more detail.

Friendships of utility are relationships where each person derives some benefit from the other.

These are the most common type of friendships.

Examples include business partnerships or relationships between coworkers.

In these friendships, the focus is on what each person can gain, rather than appreciating the other person for who they are.

Friendships of Pleasure: Aristotle on Friendship

Friendships of pleasure are based on the enjoyment and delight that friends take in each other’s company.

People in these friendships spend time together because they find each other pleasant.

Aristotle notes that these friendships are often between young people, as they tend to pursue what is pleasant.

While more meaningful than friendships of utility, friendships of pleasure are still somewhat superficial.

Friendships of Virtue

Friendships of virtue are based on mutual appreciation of each other’s good character.

These are the rarest but most lasting type of friendships.

Friends of virtue admire each other’s good qualities and help each other strive for moral excellence.

Aristotle argues this is the highest form of friendship – it is based on goodness and wishing the best for the other person.

Only people of strong moral character can sustain this type of friendship.

Characteristics of True Friendship in Aristotelian Ethics: Aristotle on Friendship

So what makes a true friend, according to Aristotle?

There are a few key characteristics:

For Aristotle, all friendships are relationships where people mutually like each other, do good for one another, and share goals for the time they spend together.

But the friendship changes depending on the reasons that friends value each other and the ways that they do good for each other.

In true friendships of virtue, friends wish good for each other for the other’s own sake.

There is a mutual recognition and appreciation of each other’s good character.

Shared Interests and Activities

True friends, according to Aristotle, share in each other’s lives and interests.

They choose to spend their time together engaging in activities that exercise and develop their virtues.

Whether it’s having philosophical discussions or serving the community together, true friends are partners in the pursuit of goodness.

The emphasis is on growing together in virtue, not just passing time.

Virtuous Character: Aristotle on Friendship

The foundation of true friendship, for Aristotle, is good character.

Only people of virtue can sustain this highest form of friendship.

True friends admire and emulate each other’s moral qualities like honesty, generosity, courage, and justice.

They challenge each other to grow in virtue and hold each other accountable.

As Aristotle puts it, “The friendship of the good is good, and increases in goodness because of their association.”

Key Takeaway: Aristotle on Friendship

Aristotle teaches us that the deepest friendships are those of virtue, where friends value each other’s good character and help one another strive for moral excellence. These rare bonds take time and trust to build but last because they’re based on mutual respect and shared goals.

The Role of Virtue in Aristotle’s Concept of Friendship: Aristotle on Friendship

Aristotle on Friendship

In Aristotle’s view, the highest form of friendship is based on virtue. It’s a bond where both friends appreciate and encourage moral excellence in each other.

Importance of Moral Excellence

For Aristotle, true friends are good people who admire each other’s virtuous character. They choose to spend time together in activities that exercise and develop their virtues like honesty, generosity, and courage.

Cultivating Virtuous Habits: Aristotle on Friendship

Aristotle argues that we become virtuous through practice. The more time we spend with virtuous friends, the more we develop good habits and moral character ourselves.

Aristotle argues that we become virtuous by practicing virtuous actions – courage is developed by acting courageously. The same holds true in friendship. The more time we spend with good people, the more we become like them and develop good habits and virtues.

Friendship as a Means to Develop Virtue

Friendship, for Aristotle, is not only worthwhile in itself. It’s also a vital means to cultivate virtue and live a good life. Our virtuous friends challenge us to become better versions of ourselves.

For Aristotle, friendship is not only intrinsically worthwhile, it is also an important means to cultivate virtue and achieve a well-lived life. Spending time with friends of good character challenges us to become better versions of ourselves.

Applying Aristotle’s Friendship Ethics to Modern Relationships: Aristotle on Friendship

Aristotle’s insights on friendship still ring true today, even in our digital age. While the platforms for connection have evolved, the foundations of meaningful relationships remain the same.

Social media has transformed how we interact. But Aristotle’s ideas are as relevant as ever. Relationships based on utility or pleasure are common online. But the most fulfilling connections come from a shared commitment to each other’s well-being and growth.

Professional and Business Relationships

Aristotle describes friendships of utility as relationships of mutual benefit. While less intimate than virtuous friendships, these bonds based on shared goals are necessary for society and business to function.

Aristotle describes friendships of utility as relationships where each person derives some benefit from the other. While less fulfilling than virtuous friendships, these relationships based on mutual advantage are necessary for society and business to function. Aristotle notes these are the most common type of relationships.

Family Ties and Close Bonds: Aristotle on Friendship

Aristotle’s emphasis on spending time together, sharing activities, and mutual care maps closely to our understanding of family and close friendships. Intimacy grows from quality time and shared experiences.

Aristotle’s emphasis on spending time together, sharing in activities, and mutual care and concern maps closely to our understanding of family bonds and close friendships. Intimacy grows from quality time and shared experiences.

Lessons from Aristotle on Nurturing Meaningful Friendships

Aristotle’s timeless wisdom offers valuable lessons for cultivating deep, fulfilling friendships in the modern world. By investing time, engaging in shared activities, and prioritizing each other’s well-being, we can build the types of friendships Aristotle most prized.

Investing Time and Effort

One of Aristotle’s key insights is that strong friendships require a real investment of time and energy to develop. Wishing someone well is not enough – friends must actively work to support each other and share experiences.

One of Aristotle’s key insights is that strong friendships require time and effort to develop. Wishing someone well is not enough – friends must actively work to help each other and share experiences. Carving out quality time is essential for any relationship to flourish.

Engaging in Shared Activities

For Aristotle, friends engage in shared activities that match their common values and interests. Doing things together, whether a hobby or a meaningful pursuit, strengthens the bond.

For Aristotle, all friendships are relationships where people mutually like each other, do good for one another, and share goals for the time they spend together. Friends engage in shared activities that match their common interests and values.

Prioritizing Mutual Well-being

Across all types of friendship, Aristotle emphasizes mutual goodwill and wishing the best for the other person. In the deepest friendships based on virtue, friends prioritize each other’s well-being and moral growth. They inspire each other to be better people.

Key Takeaway: Aristotle on Friendship

Aristotle teaches us that the best friendships are built on virtue, where friends push each other towards moral excellence. By spending time with good people and engaging in activities that reflect our values, we grow together. Even in today’s digital world, these ancient insights can guide us to form meaningful connections.

Conclusion: Aristotle on Friendship

In our journey through life, finding friends who share our values isn’t just nice—it’s essential for our well-being. Aristotle on friendship reminds us that at its core, true connection is built not merely on fun times or mutual benefits but on something much more profound: virtuous companionship and a commitment to each other’s highest good. So next time you find yourself reflecting on your circle of friends, remember that among those relationships may lie the secret to achieving the best version of yourself—through thick and thin.

author avatar
Jon Giunta Editor in Chief

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